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updated 05.13.15 |
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seems every year we forget to bring enough drunk art accoutrements for our passed out buddies that expect us to decorate
them appropriately. here we hope to compile a helpful list for a well equipped drunk art palette. • sharpie brand markers: fine art only gets better with a glorious assortment of vibrant colors and a touch of permanence. your work will garner notice, as your model proudly struts his/her colorful new visage, before an appreciative audience. • head gear: sure, empty beer boxes make a fine jaunty chapeau, but there are other fine head ornamentations that could top off a nice hat trick. bathing cap, bonnet, helmet, tiara, crown, sombrero, beer can tower, and wigs are just a few examples. • women's clothing: you want your buddy to feel pretty when he wakes up. bras, sexy panties, and a frilly top could very well take the sting off of a rough night. • tape and plastic wrap: ensuring your art piece won't wander off in harm's way or perhaps tumble from his/her chair, tape and/or plastic wrap will keep your display fresh, in place, and out of danger. • random decor: we all feel better when we wear stylish accessories. the same is true for your passed out model. a tampon cigar, shaving cream helmet, and other miscellaneous stuffs, all make for a colorful and joyous visual presentation like no other. • the road trip: once your volunteer model descends into deep slumber, it becomes apparent he/she wants to continue partying, just not where they are now. they yearn to party elsewhere, such as a few camp spots down the road, in the bed of a pick-up truck, or carted off to parts unknown. inside a random porta-potty might just be the best place for them about now. • the poser: posing your model in various situations, gives range to your model's unconscious portfolio. you and your other artist friends can join in the pictures by displaying various body parts in close vicinity to your model's face, head, and groinal area. • proper propping: being as most passed out drunktards keep a still and steady form, propping all sorts of available items and/or every empty can from the evening's event, piled up, on, and around your model, creates a stunning art presentation and brings joy to those that witness the awakening model within a crumbling display. • proof: you'll want evidence to support your work. photos and videos build an admirable portfolio and go a long way to demonstrate your artistic skill, as well as showing the model how cooperative he/she was during the whole project, once they regain sobriety. sharing with others makes a good art society that much better. • timing: the "artists" on the degabus have little patience, as their intended model starts to drift off to sleepy art time. they circle like vultures, too hungry to wait for their victim to die, before digging in. you need to let your model get a good sleep on. starting too early, usually just pisses them off. let them move a bit closer to r.e.m. sleep before you let your artistic juices flow. your creativity will better flourish, when your model isn't fighting back. • disclaimer: while everything on this page is a valid way to heighten your camping experience, at the expense of your idiot friends that pass out before you do, it's imperative that you do so safely. no fire tricks or any other harmful treatment need be applied to ensure a successful display. be very sure no actual harm befalls your model. after all, he/she is your friend and you do not want to injure them. it's hard to laugh at them when you've killed them. besides, one day, you may be the model, so do not do unto models as you would not have done unto you, or something to that effect. also, allow your model to achieve unconsciousness on their own accord. it's ill advised, illegal, and simply wrong to spike or force their intake, in order to more quickly prepare your display. do keep a watchful eye and step in on anyone that is close to approaching alcohol poisoning or other harmful activity. it's imperative that you art responsibly. suggestions, or comments, do tell. |